Stress

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Stress Doesn’t Go Away


A baby responds to stress by grimacing, wiggling or crying. A child responds to pain by telling someone what happened, pointing to the pain, screaming, hitting the ground or demanding help. But, from tweens to adults, a far less evolved method to assess and Repair. We use drugs to respond to stress or pain. Work more. Gamble. Binge watch more. Drink. Exercise more. Porn. Narcotics. Eat more. Surgery. Scroll more. Sex. Smoke. Isolate.

Pick your drug. 

All signs of fighting stress or pain with a mask on. This place - Space Before Change - is about using the feedback life brings us. Like a bull to the red flag, the taste of a good breakfast, an athlete to the coach's duding time out. Feedback about our needs and our unique makeup, as an individual. We don't attribute shame to the baby who needs nutrition. The child with a skinned knee and bruised attempt at home plate is not a failure. The confusion sets in when the individual starts reacting to stress and pain and stops using them as feedback, as a bridge. Feedback is the space before change, the gifts.  Repair and resilience require the courage to rest, lean on others, breathe, own our values (not someone else's), create security. Life is far less about what has happened than it is about the narrative of Repair we create.

When fear and addiction start to feel definitive, like a zip code, it's time to thank the craving, trigger or emotional fracture for the feedback. That sounds far off initially. Consider, has escape, disguise or distract worked? Has it really worked?

Now, for a better way. One that doesn't need masks or numbing. Repair treats the whole person and unlike drugs the results are not temporary. As you address the stress in your life, use the tool that will outlast itself. You deserve down to earth, confidential, expert-level support. Stress doesn’t go away, our resilience rises.

 
 
 
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Chronic Stress


Screen stress or chronic stress are the match to a dry field for anyone predisposed or facing addiction, alcoholism, bullying, compulsive disorders or mental health disorders. Managing screen time will reduce mental, physical and emotional strain. It will pave the way for creating the habits we are born to love, the relationships we need.

My 42 adjusts our focus, without taking any of the good stuff away from your day. As you learn more about this coaching program, you will notice that what sets us apart from treatment programs and many clinicians is our integrative approach. Britten Devereux is known for her work on the Neuromechanics of Screen Time. Stress is here to stay, but it’s a very good teacher. Life is for living, not surviving.

Obstacles don’t block the path, they are the path.
— Zen Proverb
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Our Values at Space Before Change


Be curious.

Asking questions and sitting with answers that you do not like will challenge you to create some of the best ideas.

Learn by doing.

Spectators are important. They learn and critique. We will draw on all your time as a spectator and help you take action. The space before change helps you create what you need. Change takes guts.

Be yourself.

Sometimes it’s easier to see strengths in others than in ourselves. Focus on your strengths. With time and dedication, your strengths will grow stronger than your cravings, triggers or fractures. Be you. The world gets better when you get real.

Stick around.

Time in a good habit is good medicine. Doing anything once generates potential for it to become a habit. The oxygen for any habit is the feedback loop, a profoundly effective tool for reinforcing or changing behavior. Even intractable habits related to addiction, depression and anxiety can be changed in a short period of time.

Celebrate.

Victories deserve a pause. Stop and celebrate all your progress, big or small. Today, you create change, rather than letting change create you. Repair reveals resilience, notice and celebrate.

Be a friend to yourself and others.

We need each other.