Of Course I Wear A Seatbelt
Habits can change pain and stress. Or, pain and stress can change us.
Have you ever thought about the fact that in an airplane or a moving vehicle, the expectation is that we have our seatbelt on? Have you really thought about this? It sounds so simple and obvious at first. “Of course I wear my seatbelt.”
In other words, we don’t strap in when the turbulence hits or, when the car is coming straight towards us. We put it on as we sit down, preparing for hazards, for the risks assumed as a passenger. The seatbelt cannot prevent the danger or the mental or physical anxiety. It does protect vital organs and possibly even executive function. If the plane flips 360 degrees, that seatbelt is responsible for the fact that you are still in the same place 7 seconds later - equilibrium retained, danger averted, no head injury, no broken bones.
The seatbelt is a tiny example compared to what we are doing here. The clip of metal is one motion. Here, we are laying a foundation, which takes small steps over and over. Almost 50% of what we do in a day is rote, a repeated familiar pattern, so familiar, we don’t notice the unconscious or subconscious stimuli giving a habit meaning, purpose. Some things are autonomic, like breathing or sleeping; sustaining life, even when we don’t think about it. But a good deal of what we commit ourselves to has something to do with believing it is right, good, valuable, appropriate. Habits help us do more than survive. If tuned in, appreciated, they help us enjoy the life we want, not the one we slipped into - an accident - a whoopsie daisy.
When I was 29, I looked at my life and noticed that there were not just whoopsie daisies, but a host of repeated thoughts and behaviors that were not serving me. It was through calling the habits undesirable and unwelcome that things started to change. THIS made room for BETTER. Years later, when letting go of generations of shame, a therapist told me, “maybe it was those patterns that saved your life.” I couldn’t understand how that could be true. Opiate addiction, self-limiting beliefs, self-pity, driving drunk …. how could that be life-saving? It took time to understand her point. And I sit with you today, to affirm she was right. With dedication to My 42, a small group of warriors co-creating the lives we were born for and the willingness to forgive myself and others, I see it. It was those dark, life threatening habits that brought me to a place of laying flat out on the ground (literally) to demonstrate with my body and my openness that the pain and stress from one era of my life led me to self awareness, conscious living, human connection and enormous excitement. Today, if I sprain an ankle or say something I need to apologize for, I see how my habit of mindfulness eventually helps me catch the snag in the line. Far from perfect, far from Pride and Prejudice poise, I credit discomfort for showing me what needed to heal. I credit My 42 for giving me a reliable space for seeing events, behaviors, beliefs and emotions as the megaphones, the stimuli, for temporary protection and passage to a better place, a more real me.
Why Space Before Change
A simple way to gain the mental fitness to reduce and overcome cravings, triggers, emotional fractures (ache, pain, heaviness). If 50% of what happens in a day is by habit - let’s make these patterns work for you!
Habits are easily adopted. The question is, does this habit serve you? Space Before Change is not only an expert resource for developing the habits you are born to love, but this is a place for noticing change. Members are able to thank whatever pain or stress that got them here. Not by ignoring, but by recognizing, members connect with the lovable, person dwelling under the craving, trigger or emotional fracture.
Not everyone wants a treatment center or counseling. Not everyone wants a book. Not everyone wants meds. Participants will experience enormous relief through this membership because it’s a training ground for consciousness. The worst experiences, the “I never thought I could … “ decisions (often patterns) lead to a story of resilience for anyone sick of traveling alone.
People want to face the day with mental fortitude, gain resilience and live a meaningful life. But the internal reward system is different for everyone. Space Before Changes helps you tune into a new reward system (check back in the next blog for more about rewards) to improve your lifestyle, your mood, your cognition by developing the habits you are born to love.
I dare ya, walk this path with us:
Eliminate 21 minutes of screen time,
Invest 21 minutes (“ante,” repair)
A plastic brain can change, create and adapt to the new thoughts and rewards we adopt. We can start over. For me, “Of course I wear a seatbelt” turned into a much deeper commitment. Today, it’s not “danger averted.” Instead, I live, I heal.